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Wednesday, 20 June 2012

G-20 & Bidi

The other day in G20 summit meeting, PM Manmohan Singh announced India’s contribution of $10bn -which translates to Rs.55,000 crores-  as lifeline to Eurozone countries via IMF. Last year govt had declared contribution of Rs.9,000 crores towards IMF.  Very healthy figures those.

No Pain No Gain
On the sidelines of the Meeting, a British Gora was grumbling-we should never have left India. We should have tried to open more basements of temples for gold, silver & diamonds. Could have been enough to feed Eurozone! We should tunnel their temples from all sides even now.

A Greek delegate was also muttering-there should be another expedition to India. He appeared to be direct descendent of Alexander the Great. He continued his planning of taking a route other than thruough Kabul-Peshawar,  may be sea route. Very logical at that.

German delegate tried his hand at Sanskrit with Indians & tried to emphasize similarities & old relations between the two countries. He said that the great German philosopher Karl Marx is still running his party in West Bengal. They will cherish help from India any time.

Back home Mamta was not happy. I am a simple man she said. Give me Rs.17000 crores first otherwise I will not come to New Delhi to meet you she said.

Nirma Baba was also not happy. He wanted some time & as he said he could have organised much more for poor Europeans. In fact any of them Europeans can directly contact with samosa & hari chutney for welfare formula. Kirpa Jarroor Hogi!

MMS must be in a hurry to distribute the funds notwithstanding inflation going up with manufacturing going down. Is there a need to contribute this money? Ghar me nahi daane aur amma chali bhunane!

 Like Venky Vembu said if your beard is on fire please don’t ask matchstick for Bidi!

Sunday, 17 June 2012

Numbers are Interesting!

As per Times of India news report, a farmer in Punjab spent Rs.17 lacs on getting a car registration number 0001. He has a fascination of this number & he was prepared to go up to Rs. 20 lacs for it! His house number & mobile numbers are also similar.

Numbers on my Car
But I do not fuss over such numbers. I don’t mind if they allot 0000 or even don’t allot any number at all to my car. After all there is a long list of numbers & how far one can go for 0001? I have my Passport number, driving license number, house number, land line number, mobile number, aadhar card number, PANumber, Pension account number, my bike registration number, my car registration number & some others I keep forgetting. But out of all these some numbers are fascinating - numbers relating to date of birth of Madam & date of marriage anniversary. Here you have hardly any choice though. If you are not careful of these two dated numbers your good behaviour numbers may become 0.

Now you may say a number is a number & what is there in a number. Look in maths definition of number means a lot - negative numbers, positive numbers, real numbers, binary numbers,  complex numbers, simple integers, fractional numbers, rational numbers & not the least irrational numbers. This is puzzling – irrational number finds a place in logical maths.

Then there is this great number 0. Invented by ancient Indian mathematician, it has taken the entire mathematics to such a high level of numbers-millions, billions & trillions. They say that Indian system of counting can go much beyond trillions very easily.
 
Number 13 is very obnoxious to western world. Even 13th floors are found missing from high rise buildings unlike in India. Matter needs further probe by Numbers Committee at New Delhi.

Number 786 is very preferred number among Muslims. They would like it  as vehicle registration numbers. Some of the vehicle owners paint 786 on their vehicles. During my tenure as Branch Manager, some customers wanted their account number to include 786 as prefix or suffix. These days’ computers have taken over & such requests are not possible to be entertained. 

Lawyers have a set of popular numbers at their tips such as: 10, 144, 302, 303, 304, 420.  The last number is a very well known number because of Raj Kapoor’s  film 'Shree 420'.  James Bond films have made 007 very popular. In India Maruti revolutionised the usage of cars with a simple name –Maruti 800.

Now these days in schools they have started grading as measure of performance of the student instead of marks. In good old days it was simply numbers that said -  33/100- Pass,  up to 59/100 –Second division, 60/100 & above First division & 75/100- Distinction etc. It was very simple indeed. Yours Truly had always scored 33/100- Pass number at first available chance.

Can you beat this record?