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Saturday, 5 April 2014

Dog catcher

In a transferable job one gets postings in far flung unknown places inhabited by different people with their different languages, clothing styles & food habits. if you are living in one part of India where certain type of clothes or food items are in vogue & considered the best, the same may not be applicable in some other part of India. That is the diversity which needs to be appreciated & even enjoyed. Easier said than done though.

From Delhi I got posted to a remote branch under North East Region, Guwahati. Compared to dusty & crowded Delhi, it was refreshingly green, less populated & less polluted. Within the districts of each state there & within the seven states of North East there are differences in languages, dialects, clothing styles, food habits etc. 

The branch I was heading had normal banking business those days. But somehow it was a peon-cum-guard who was causing headache in day to day functioning. His duty included inter-alia opening the vault, taking out heavy cash metal box in the morning & putting it back in the evening & locking up the vault. He would take leave for a day but would disappear for days. On some occasions he won't even inform anybody in the branch & take a few days off. His salary was never paid for a full month because his leave remained exhausted. No amount of persuasion & counselling helped. To make alternate arrangement one had to look for some other guy on payment which was another headache.

So one day I landed at his place at about 8 in the morning to get first hand report. A small house in the village accommodated his parents, himself, his wife & five school going children. He himself was not there & there was a language barrier also. His wife called a neighbour for interpretation & the matter was understood.

They were always short of money & for a few rupees more he resorted to catching stray dogs in the night. For this purpose most suited time was midnight to 4 am during which dogs slept most peacefully. He would throw wet jute bags on them & catch. These dogs were then sold in nearby tribal areas for meat. Black dog was considered a delicacy & meant bonus which was more than a day's salary.

That's why he needed to sleep during the day!




Tuesday, 1 April 2014

Boss gets a designer Kurta

My boss is the Regional Manager of 27 branches in Jhumri Talliyya region & has his office right in the middle of the town. View from his office window shows a crossing crowded & full of variety of vehicles like tonga, buggi, rickshaws, bikes, autos & cars blowing their horns & all trying to race ahead ignoring traffic police man as far as feasible.

In the heat of May - June & humidity of July - August those who are stopped at crossings by traffic police men feel like in hell. They start sweating, cursing & then overtaking from left, right or centre as fast as they can. Though our traffic law is simple enough - left is right & right is wrong but heat takes your patience away. And the electricity failure in traffic lights adds to the discomfort as traffic man takes his own time to allow you to pass.

Left is right & right is wrong!

This was not new to our Regional Manager who had faced many transfers across India & was used to heat & dust of the towns. Let me introduce him. You see he is 55+, short, with large beer belly & bald. That's the reason we call him The Baldy out of love & affection of course. So when suggestion for an outing & that too boating in the evening in a Jheel just outside of Jhumri was made to him, The Baldy promptly accepted with delight. Mr Singh dropped a hint about arranging chilled beer during boating, Mr Gupta was ready to arrange veg snacks & Mr Rajput agreed to organise fresh fish bar-be-cue right there for the boss.

Mr Sharma felt that he ought to add something or the other to the party or else he would be left out of race in forthcoming interview. He gathered his wits & thought hard. Suddenly he declared that he would like to see the boss in designer kurta - pyjama while boating. The Baldy was delighted & so was Mr Sharma.

The Baldy was enjoying the boat ride with can of beer in his right hand with his left arm dipping in the cool water of Jheel. He was enjoying indeed. He would take a sip of beer & then would attempt to row the boat with left arm. His left arm was completely wet by the time he was out of boat. The party was enjoyed by all & was a smashing hit.

About a week later The Baldy casually mentioned to Mr Gupta that there was something strange about that kurta. Left sleeve of kurta has shrunk & is now shorter than right sleeve. Even after a wash & ironing left one is short & right one is long. How's that?

Mr Gupta informed Mr Singh, who informed to Mr Rajput & who informed to Mr Sharma. These days Mr Sharma is a worried man. Can you help him?   

No traffic signal here, enjoy the ride