Job profile of a branch manager involves several features
which are not listed in the rule book. In between customers, juniors & controlling bosses there are moments of pleasure & pain for
the branch manager. Some of the odd jobs I did as BM may not qualify for
inclusion in the duty sheet. Check this one.
Annual closing was over & it was time to wait for the
auditors. Now the question is who is this auditor for which we have to wait
every year? Practically all branch managers have to undergo this exercise of
waiting & getting the branch audited sooner or later in their careers. This
is an occupational hazard.
Now who is this Auditor for which the branch
manager has to wait for?This auditor can be defined as a person who audits! Or a
person who performs audit is an auditor! These round-about definitions get us
nowhere & do not give any meaningful idea about the auditor. From Wikipedia
it comes out that the word ‘auditing’ has been derived from Latin word ‘audire’
which means ‘to hear’. Auditors accordingly prefer to hear their own voices!
Another definition available is ‘an unbiased examination & valuation of the
financial statements of an organisation’. Being unbiased is another quirky term requiring further explanations.
May I define in a simpler manner - the fellow learns from
you how things are done & then questions why things have been done! He is
mostly short of pen, pencil, paper, snacks, time, calculator & tries to be friendlier
to your boss rather than you!
This was evident from auditor A as his phone calls went
first to boss-The Baldy & then to me. Minutes later this call was
supplemented by boss-The Baldy.
‘Auditor A is coming on Wednesday by morning flight. Please see that he is comfortable’.
No not this, Pyjamas required! |
‘Auditor A is coming on Wednesday by morning flight. Please see that he is comfortable’.
'Sure sir' I assured.
Well Auditor A was
six feet tall with a bulging tummy & bulky figure. His trousers were
held with the help of suspenders. He walked & talked in slow motion. Anyways
mission accomplished when KingKong was received, transported, and delivered to
reception counter of the hotel at 9.30 am.
At 9.45 a call came from auditor A ‘Can you help? It
seems my pyjama kurta has not been packed! Please can you organise’?
Hanging by suspenders |
‘Sure sure’ I assured. Ooo lalala!
A minute later
boss-The Baldy followed it up with ‘Please make him comfortable’.
‘Sure sure’ I assured. Ooo lalala!
Search for KingKong size dress started as soon as shops
opened at 11 am. Nothing suitable was found till 1 pm. A kurta-pyjama-search-party
was then constituted with a local officer deputed by boss-The Baldy, a local clerk from our branch & myself. By evening
the search party successfully found a Kurta.
Pyjama was got stiched over night & the occasion was celebrated the next day.
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