Of Charges and Sheets

There was a red alert in Jhumri Tallaiyya branch of the bank. New Regional Manager was about to inspect the branch on coming Monday. 

Meeting with branch staff was held by Branch Manager Shri Manohar Narula. He is affectionately known as Manager Mannu but please keep it to yourself. He emphasized on timely attendance. In every office you find couple of persons who will be late by 5 to 15 minutes. Call them habitual late comers or Kumbhkarans or Alsi but they don't change.  

Anyways, the branch was got cleaned and spruced up. All members of staff were reminded of wearing corporate ties in proper knots. Special crockery was unpacked and was kept ready for use of our 'worthy' new Regional Manager.  

The word 'worthy' of course, conveys a subjective opinion as many bosses are unworthy of the status they are in!

 

Arrangement for roasted masala cashews, kaju burfi, cold drinks etc was made. Normally we are accustomed to tea but coffee was also arranged for the worthy RM if he so wishes. Beer was out of question during office hours. In case of worthy boss agreeing for lunch outside, arrangement for beer was in place.  

Of course folder of facts & figures of Jhumri branch was ready without which the worthy Regional Managers are likely to start shouting and become unworthy.  

At the appointed time, however, there was disappointment. Instead of new Regional Manager, his deputy Shri Goel walked in. What a let down! Manager Mannu decided not to serve roasted masala cashews & kaju burfi and packets were placed back in drawer. Only cold drink was to be served.

There was reason for this. Shri Goyal was considered a Chamcha of the bosses and was known for ignoring juniors. This is not fair you see as due importance should be given to all. Shri Goyal was  usually addressed as Goyal Sa but privately called The Baldy or Takla. He was bald of course with a large tummy, wearing spects with thick lenses and was always in a hurry. In case if Takla comes to know that roasted cashews were in the drawer of Manager Mannu and these were not served to him, he would not like it. And the risk was that it may result in verbal or written adverse reporting to RM. Many RMs are known to be Kan Ke Kacche!

 

After exchange of artificial smiles & pleasantries, Manager Mannu asked:

- We were expecting new RM sir?

- New Saab waj biji & haij asked me to vijit your office & submit the report, said Goel Sa. 

- Come on Goyal Sa you are as great a Saab as our new RM Saab. 

- ho-ho-ho!

- Some day you will be inspecting this branch as new RM of Jhumri!

- ho-ho-ho!

- Have a cold drink sir and tell us about our new boss. 

- You will come to know Narula ji. What ij the hurry?

- ok sir ok.

Goel Sa had a round of the branch & checked a few office files. He talked to officers present in the branch also. After 2 rounds of cold drinks and a coffee, he left. 

He presented his report to the new RM next day and both had a dialogue on following lines. Please note that this information has been gathered from a very reliable source in the Jhumari regional office. It is strictly confidential.

Goel Sa: Sir I vijited this Jhumari City branch yesterday. Manager fellow ij super clever Sir ( he waj having roasted cashew but waj hiding from me).
New RM: Wot?
Goel Sa: I saw his travel bills Sir. He has gone to Delhi but has charged expenses for New Delhi Sir.
New RM: Wot? 
Goel Sa: Sir he ij using gold plated pen Sir gold plated!
New RM: Wot? 
Goel Sa: Sir I gathered newj that he haj 2 expensive safari suits one 
white and the other brown coloured Sir! By using white pant with      brown shirt & brown pant with white shirt he is using the 2                safari suits as 4 safari suits Sir. He ij super clever Sir!
New RM: Wot?

Goel SA: Sir office haj already provided mobile phone to every manager sir. But he ij using an expensive imported phone also.

New RM: Hmm... Vigilance overtones! Frame charges and issue show cause notice.

So the new RM has turned out to be Kan Ka Kaccha!

                      

Presently Goel Sa is sitting with Manager( HRD) fully engrossed in framing charges of Show Cause Notice. Manager Mannu must explain following charges:

(a) excessive expenditure on roasted masala cashew nuts which were not served to the inspecting official but kept in drawer, 

(b) travel bills for going to Delhi but charging for travel to New Delhi instead in travel bills, 

(c) indecent dressing in expensive safari suits and 

(d) use of expensive imported phone and gold plated pen. 

Both Goyal Sa and Manager(HRD) have wasted dozens of sheets of paper and number of hours in preparing charges of Show Cause Notice. 

Would you like to present such a case or defend it? 

Office