Monday, 29 July 2013

Branch Manager Searching Pyjamas!

Job profile of a branch manager involves several features which are not listed in the rule book. In between customers, juniors & controlling bosses there are moments of pleasure & pain for the branch manager. Some of the odd jobs I did as BM may not qualify for inclusion in the duty sheet. Check this one.

Annual closing was over & it was time to wait for the auditors. Now the question is who is this auditor for which we have to wait every year? Practically all branch managers have to undergo this exercise of waiting & getting the branch audited sooner or later in their careers. This is an occupational hazard.

Now who is this Auditor for which the branch manager has to wait for?This auditor can be defined as a person who audits! Or a person who performs audit is an auditor! These round-about definitions get us nowhere & do not give any meaningful idea about the auditor. From Wikipedia it comes out that the word ‘auditing’ has been derived from Latin word ‘audire’ which means ‘to hear’. Auditors accordingly prefer to hear their own voices! Another definition available is ‘an unbiased examination & valuation of the financial statements of an organisation’. Being unbiased is another quirky term requiring further explanations. 

May I define in a simpler manner - the fellow learns from you how things are done & then questions why things have been done! He is mostly short of pen, pencil, paper, snacks, time, calculator & tries to be friendlier to your boss rather than you!
No not this, Pyjamas required!
This was evident from auditor A as his phone calls went first to boss-The Baldy & then to me. Minutes later this call was supplemented by boss-The Baldy.

‘Auditor A is coming on Wednesday by morning flight. Please see that he is comfortable’.

'Sure sir' I assured.

Well Auditor A was six feet tall with a bulging tummy & bulky figure. His trousers were held with the help of suspenders. He walked & talked in slow motion. Anyways mission accomplished when KingKong was received, transported, and delivered to reception counter of the hotel at 9.30 am.
Hanging by suspenders
At 9.45 a call came from auditor A ‘Can you help? It seems my pyjama kurta has not been packed! Please can you organise’?

‘Sure sure’ I assured. Ooo lalala!

 A minute later boss-The Baldy followed it up with ‘Please make him comfortable’.

‘Sure sure’ I assured. Ooo lalala!

Search for KingKong size dress started as soon as shops opened at 11 am. Nothing suitable was found till 1 pm. A kurta-pyjama-search-party was then constituted with a local officer deputed by boss-The Baldy, a local clerk from our branch & myself. By evening the search party successfully found a Kurta.

Pyjama was got stiched over night & the occasion  was celebrated the next day.

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