Monday, 28 May 2012

Drivers of Official Cars

CMD - Chief Manager Cum Driver

Ours is a large set-up & therefore has heavy luggage of :
GM -------02 nos.
DGM -----03 nos.
AGM -----03 nos. 
Chief -----04  nos.
Total -----12  nos.

Of course you know, these chaps are to be provided with official cars whether they deserve it or not. And drivers too. Good that only top 5 need drivers others can take care of themselves. In fact one Chief who drives the car, calls himself a CMD meaning Chief-cum-Motor-Driver. What a sense of humour I must say but he will stop smiling if this word goes up to real CMD & this fellow Chief-cum-Motor-Driver lands up in Jhumri Talliya.

Our distribution system is simple-best car goes to top man, worst car goes to last man. Distribution of drivers is complex you know. Opinions of officials, that of their madams, those of drivers, mother tongue of official & of respected madam also play a role. Some times mother-in-law of Saab or Memsaab is  also there adding to the complexities. But we brief them in advance & drivers are known to balance it out between Saab & Memsaab on one hand & Saab & office on other hand while keeping both hands on steering wheel. Our drivers are all experienced & well versed in their jobs. They are:

Ramesh Chand: Quiet-type & no-fuss-type. He knows expenditure power of the Saab & of the vehicle also. He does not believe in 'puncture bills' being presented every week. Once in a month or so his fat repair bill comes with high tech sounding problems-like 'second gear teeth broken got replaced', "clutch plate touching top gear got replaced', 'exhaust pipe giving exhaust in the middle got replaced' etc & bills always got thru & thru. So were his overtime bills- thru & thru. He takes no interest in dialogues going on in the back seat of car. Liked by bosses. 

Ramesh Singh: He is extrovert & outspoken but technically sound. Offer him a cup of tea & he will gladly come out as to why Saab had a bad evening yesterday. Memsaab did not like Saab taking beer on a Tuesday. She kept on talking virtues of Tuesday & Saab kept on sipping beer. Ultimately dinner had to be brought from Haldiram. He said that Memsaab was always right & Saab may be right in the office! He had a suggestion that in forthcoming interview Yours Truly should meet Memsaab with  own Memsaab prior to interview. GM Memsaab is fond of silver statues for pooja. Yours Truly immediately cleared his pending bill. 

Ramesh Mahto: We call him Ramesh but he calls himself as Rames in Bihari ishtyle! He had knack of getting 'puncture bill' 
every other day & even tried to puncture the vested passing power of Saab! Though we attached him to GM Saab but he attached himself to GM Memsaab because Haakim bhi Patna ke nahina hain! He knew all the temples in & around Delhi which got him closer to Memsaab & his bills never stopped coming & who are we to stop the payments anyways.

Ramesh Kumar: Better known as Kumar Saab for he is physically fit, always neatly dressed, pen in the pocket, sun glasses & cap on. He had a regret that he was not born in Bollywood. He made several attempts to jump over the Bollywood gate but could not. Lot of dogs there at the gate! For a while he remained driver of Amjad Khan & he has his share of filmi anecdotes etc. He participates in all cultural programmes held here in his colony & in Ramlila he was a permanent fixture as Laxman. Hence his absenteeism. Now this is where you get jammed. And this is where Yours Truly appreciates Chief-cum-Motor-Driver.   

RameshaNand: He is a new recruit & has joined recently. He is so far not a member of the driver biradari & has still to learn tricks of the trade. He however, is not satisfied in driving Ambassador of GM Saab as he expected to drive BMW or Merc. He calls Amby a khatara. He feels there are too many locks in this car- steering lock, ignition lock, dashboard lock, door lock, petrol tank lock, dicky lock etc. Although our Org. is large & profitable but Oldies rule & therefore old Ambassador rules. In any case Memsaabs love this vehicle more than the Saabs. Paisa vasool!

View from the Official Car !
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