Wednesday, 27 July 2016

Snake & Branch Manager

Promotions are always welcome in job. It comes after a tedious process of tests / interview / pulls & pressures. You get raise in salary, better perks & recognition. Of course there is factor of satisfaction also which varies from Arora ji to Zaidi saab.

Measurement system of satisfaction devised by Arora ji is simple. He says - happy > it is state of mind after 2 pegs, happier > it is state of mind after 3 pegs + a tangdi & happiest > it is state of mind after 4 pegs + butter chicken. Zaidi saab has a different measurement scale. He says it is my Begum who pushes me into promotions. So if she is happy Zaidi saab is proportionately happy. 

As the promotion list came out both Arora ji & Zaidi saab were declared successful. They were very happy to throw party. After you get promotion it is time to get proper place of posting. If posting is in a good town or city you enjoy your tenure. In case the place is in far flung area stomach upsets or headaches are common. Heartburn may be severe in case your friend gets better posting.

The list of postings came out & both Arora ji & Zaidi saab got Jaipur Region. There was party time again. Both reported there & whereas Zaidi saab was retained in Jaipur, Arora ji was asked to take charge of Jharoda branch in Dholpur. Arora ji had severe heartburn & instead of saying 'Cheers' he said 'Teri to ...'.

Arora ji sat in the bus going to Jharoda looking out of the window. Most of the road passed through dusty tree-less barren land. God had perhaps forgotten to irrigate & fertilise the area. Once in a while he saw goats & sheep grazing or a couple of thatched huts. He kept on cursing HRD & rebuking Zaidi saab for managing posting.

At last he reached the branch. It was set in a large hut like house with boundary wall. Entry was through a rusty gate in boundary wall which had a large thatched canopy overhead. Behind the branch there were two rooms nicknamed Manager Mahal. Royal bath was in far corner along the boundary wall without any roof. While taking bath in the morning he heard shouts of maid. She was employed as Panihari for bringing water @ Rs.10 a bucket. She was asking him to come out. He wrapped his towel around & came out.  She placed a large Tasla - a tin sheet tub & ordered,
- Now stand in this Tasla & have bath. I have to wash your clothes from this residual water in the tub. No more than four buckets as Panihari gets payment for only four buckets!

It was a tough posting. On Saturday Arora ji decided to visit his family. After closure of branch he packed his bag & tried to close the gate but could not. He put the bag down, took the gate in both hands & pulled hard. The gate closed with a bang shaking the entire structure & thatched canopy. A snake from the thatch fell on the head of Arora ji. Both the snake & Arora ji were startled & started dancing. Both were afraid of each other & wanted quick separation. Arora ji wanted to shout for help but his voice failed. In confusion snake jumped on the ground & disappeared. But Arora ji was terrified. He ran & ran & ran till he reached Delhi!
He threw back the promotion at management & is now enjoying his old trusted formula of two pegs a day for happy life.
Jharoda branch needs a new manager now. Are you ready?  

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